Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Tuesday Tips: Let's Be Friends


I've touched on this subject a little bit here in the past but lately I've been getting asked this question over and over again:  "How do I make blog friends?"

Let's face it: the blog world is rough.  It seems like everybody and their mamas have a blog these days.  And all those bloggers seem to have their own little cliques and groups that you want so badly to be a part of.  So, how do you get in?

BE GENUINE

No matter what, always be true to yourself.  I learned this the hard way.  If you've followed my blog from the beginning (and a HUGE thank you if you're still with me), you'd probably notice how much this little blog has changed since then.  When I first started this blog, it was basically an outlet for me to vent and document my life - like a public diary or journal.  Then, after following a few different blogs, I started posting outfits, crafts, beauty, and other random shit.  It was basically a hot mess around here because I wanted to be doing everything that everyone else was doing but I was just desperately grabbing at anything that I could.

After a while I got sick of it.  I was sick of trying to fit in with the "cool bloggers" and their Tory Burch flats, mason jars, and Michael Kors watches.  In reality, I don't like to wear flats, didn't understand the hype about mason jars, and couldn't afford to spend $300+ on a frikken watch.  I finally got real with myself and said "Fuck It" - if I can't be who I am, what's the point?  Surprisingly, after changing the tone and direction here on the blog, I've actually gained more genuine followers and friends who really do care about what I have to blab about.

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

Okay, so what if you're being genuine, but still can't seem to fit in?  Well the answer is simple:  Don't follow douchebags.  Haha.  I kid.  But not really.  If you blog passionately about dogs but you're trying to gain the respect and friendship of a New York fashion blogger who lives in a studio with her gal pals, chances are, you won't have a great connection with that person.  Sure, they may comment from time to time saying how cute your pup is, but most likely that's all you'll get out of them.

Bloggers who you have more in common with are more likely to befriend you.  I'm not saying you'll never be friends with a certain person, but blog life is just like real life - find people who share the same interests and sense of humor as you do.

MAKE AN EFFORT

You have to put yourself out there, plain and simple.  You want something, you gotta go and get it.  Commenting on other blogs, trolling the comments of your favorite blogs to find other blogs, and writing posts that will want others to comment on are all ways of getting people's attention.  You can't sit in a corner and expect people to just come to you.  I mean, unless you're offering free candy or something, you probably won't be very successful.

And yes, giveaways do help in getting followers, but that's not what you asked for.  Having blog followers is a lot different than having blog friends.  All friendships require patience, loyalty, common interests, and above all else - fun!  Because seriously, how can you be friends with someone who doesn't know how to laugh at your jokes, ecards and gifs?

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So, that's my two-cents on the subject, what do you think of my tips?  What about you?  How did you find your blogging BFFS?

16 comments:

  1. I definitely went through the same thing when I first started blogging again. At first it was just a diary type of thing, then I thought I had to post what everyone else was posting. Eventually I realized that I don't actually *like* posting outfit posts all the time and talking about make up all the time. (oddly enough I hate blogging about make up but love making videos about it).

    I usually find my blogger BFFS by chance. I always say that I find my online BFFs because I fangirl over them a little at first and then eventually end up being their friend because I'm always around and commenting on stuff. haha.

    -Mo
    www.ollivandermo.com

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  2. Definitely being genuine, actually reading posts and leaving thoughtful comments instead of just 'cute outfit'. Blogging offers a really cool sense of community that I think a lot of people miss out on by just worrying about numbers. Numbers will come, but blog friends are what really matters

    Miche from Buttons and Birdcages

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  3. all true. be yourself and you'll connected with those who are like-minded. if you're not showing your true colors on your own blog, you can't expect people to get to know the real you and therefore, a connection will never happen.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  4. I think remembering that even the well established bloggers are still people is a good piece of advice. Everyday, I read 100+ blog post (because...work is boring lol) and I almost never comment. I'll have people I want to reach out too, but quickly ignore the desire because I feel like I'll be a bother, I'll be wasting some one's time if I start a conversation and actually try to keep it going.

    Truth is, I think all bloggers want new people to talk to. Unless, like you said, they are douchebags lol.
    By the way, the blog is coming together nicely! Hopefully you still have a full head of hair after all your hard work.

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  5. We already decided we need to be besties, so there's that. Making real friends in blogland is a lot harder than people make it seem. For one, the person usually isn't local, and that's ok, but it makes that long-distance thign necessary. As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm too lazy to try and keep up with the "cool bloggers". I don't have the cash flow to go buy everything home decor at Target or shop on all the trendy websites, and really, I don't want to. I prefer the close blog readers/friends that I have.

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  6. I agree! Being geniune is the best way to get followers and blogger buddies. I actually started out as a beauty blogger in 2008, and then I wanted to change direction into a fashion blogger. After I failed at that, I went back to beauty blogging. And I enjoy that a lot more than being a fashion blogger. :)

    xxDenysia Yu
    http://thatlaitgirl.com

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  7. It's great to build relationships with other bloggers, but kind of sucky that it's so cliquish. I'd rather keep to myself, but that's probably not the best way to make friends and gain followers haha!

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  8. YES to being yourself! I mean, if people don't connect to who you really are then WHO GIVES A SHIT?! You don't know them... you don't have any connection to them. It's when you find people who like you for you and MAKE a connection w/ them that is awesome! :)

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  9. I seem to gravitate towards all the crazies but just being myself ;-) You're right the blogging world can be a little nuts but finding your little niche totally helps!

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