Okay, first off, I can’t think of “no regrets” without thinking of the “No Ragrets” tattoo from the movie, We’re the Millers. Anyway.
Back in my rebellious, destructive teenage years, I would boast and brag about having “No Regrets! (Woohoo!)” and living my life however I pleased because “I do what I like”, and all that shit. See, back then I thought I was pretty badass. And as a naïve teenage girl, “badass” meant drinking, smoking, modeling and gogo dancing, getting invited to the VIP area, being famous and having people send me gifts and treat me to things. Basically, I was Miley Cyrus - even though at the time she was still 'Hannah Montana'.
Because I was such a badass, I thought “why the fuck do I need college? I make $500 a weekend just hanging out at the club!” so I stopped going to my classes. I said, “what’s the harm in posting my life on the internet? My fans want to meet me in person!” and I gained stalkers. I figured, “I’d rather die young and pretty than old and ugly” so I drank a lot, drove drunk if I had to and parked my car on random side streets downtown to sleep if I couldn’t make it home. My whole life revolved around myself and my selfish ways because I figured that nobody else gave a shit, the only person who would look out for me was me.
And then I met Joey.
No, it’s not like the heavens opened up and his angelic face appeared in the clouds - we’re being real here. We met, we talked, we hung out, we made out – and I thought it was like the other young teenage love stories that I had already gone through (and no, I won’t mention how many times) – but with him it was different. He saw past all my bullshit.
He didn’t care about how much money I made or what celebrity I rubbed elbows with. He was over that already. He treated me like an adult, and I grew up quick and learned that when you’re in a real adult relationship, you can’t be acting like a child. He showed me that it didn’t have to be “live fast, die young” all the time and that there was so much more to life than social status.
I’m older now (28, yikes!) and we have 3 crazy/wonderful kids and when I compare my life now to how it was before, I can’t help but feel a little bit of regret towards certain decisions I’ve made in the past.
I regret not finishing school and trying hard enough while I was still there. I regret being such a bitch to some people and using them for my personal gain. I regret being so careless about my body and my values. I regret feeling so selfish and spiteful that I almost ruined my relationship. But most of all, I regret that it took me this long to realize that to live a life with no regrets is impossible. I am constantly growing, learning and changing along with the rest of the world.
Worrying about the past won't change it, but learning from the past can lead to a much better future.