Friday, August 14, 2015

Wait, do I really want to be a part of that?

I had started drafting a post for a popular weekly link-up this morning but I just couldn't go through with it.  I got two small paragraphs in and I had to stop because my heart wasn't in it.  I started writing it because I thought it would be a fun way to let some creative energy out without getting too distracted and stressed out about it.  But, truth is, I've been all sorts of distracted and stressed out this week so I couldn't bring myself half-heartedly write a post and ramble on about shit that doesn't really matter much just because everyone else is doing it.  (Funny story about distraction:  Yesterday, I grabbed my brow pencil and started filling in my eyebrows, only it wasn't my brow pencil - it was purple eyeliner.  What.  the.  actual.  fuck.  I was able to get most of it off, but my right brow still had a tinge of purple to it all day.)

Anyway, as I was in the middle of the two paragraphs, I decided to hop on over to the link-up hostess's blog to see what new posts she had since the last time I visited, which was probably about one or two months ago.  I skimmed the posts and was surprised at how many comments all of her posts had so I clicked on a one about fashion and skimmed that too.  The post was actually nothing fancy.  Some selections of products and suggestions on how to wear certain items.  I do that.  Then I skimmed the comments which mostly consisted of "great picks!" and "I've been dying over those!" or "that's my favorite brand!".  I started wondering how all these people came to this space and what did I have to do to get these people to visit and comment on my blog as well?  Then I looked at the post again, clicked on the links to her selections and realized, NOPE.  I will never fit in with that crowd.

The prices of her selections were ridiculous.  Granted, they were designer brands, but still.  I'm never going to be the type of person who spends more than $100 on a tank top.  The most I ever spent on a bag was $135 (fyi, it was a Michael Kors purse that I found at Ross and thought would be a perfect Christmas gift for my MIL) and even that was after careful deliberation and texts between Joey and I.  Sure, I swoon over Valentinos and Kate Spade just like the next blogger but that doesn't mean I'm actually going to put my hard-earned money towards it.  Especially when I know that a $20 tank top at Target is just as good as any $100+ designer tank top, so long as you know how to take care of it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in adulthood, most of us still don't have all of our shit together.  We're still looking for attention, trying to fit in to a certain group or have a certain lifestyle because we think that's what we want.  It's easy to sit behind the screen and say "do you, boo" or "who needs them" to everyone else as we secretly stalk the living shit out of the same blogs hoping for an way in to the "cool" group.  The hard part is taking that same advice and shoving it down our own throats.  Once we can do that, we'll have a clearer vision of who we really are and what we really want.

I don't know about you, but I'm glad to be the foul-mouthed cheap-ass that I am, unbrushed hair, purple eyebrow and all.  And who knows, maybe one day I will join in on the link-up - when I actually have something to write about that isn't forced or thrown in there just to be like someone else.  Because, really, if you're only imitating other blogs and other people, why would we even need to follow you?


  1. I feel you. I totally do. I sometimes wonder what it takes and then realise I CANT and WONT sell out to get what I want - more readers. So Ill sit here and enjoy the ones who genuinely like me and come to my blog for me :D

  2. oh my gosh that is hilarious about the purple eyeliner.
    girl for real. i feel you. it's funny because Kay (above lol) and I were texting about this last night. Even if I had that kind of money to spend, I wouldn't. I saw someone post about a Kate Spade wallet and yes, it was definitely pretty but I clicked on it and it was over $100. for a wallet? no. My husband would divorce me lol.

  3. Girl, I love this post something fierce! I'm really wishing you had included a photo of the purple eyebrow, but just picturing it is enough right now.

    "even in adulthood, most of us still don't have all of our shit together" Hammer-> Nail I'll never fit in with that group either and I'm perfectly fine with it. I love my TJ Maxx/Marshalls finds.

  4. shit got real up in hurr. yup yup yup to everything in this post. i've kicked some blogs to the curb because all i see are fashion posts and guess what? i have no interest in fashion posts. you know all those images of "great pinterest finds" about fashion? i skip all of those and don't even bother to read what that post is about because 1) if you're telling me that a tshirt for $50 is better than one i can find at old navy for $10, i'll tell you to GTFO 2) i would rather spend my hundreds or thousands of dollars on vacation or put it towards my mortgage than to a single bag 3) i'm more interested in shit like stationary, kitchen hacks and old lady things than what the latest fashion trend is 4) all that shit is boring as fuck.

    that said, i was in that frame of mind once and a total label ho in a past life. i'm way older now and smarter with my money so i can't really say shit to those bloggers because we all go through phases....that doesn't mean that i have to partake in that or read it. i don't care if my posts are boring old lady things or all about muay thai because it's what i like; just as those kinds of posts are what they like. this comment really isn't going anywhere LOL. i guess being an old lady also means being senile and forgetting the whole point of this comment. ok the end.

  5. Sometimes it's good to evaluate what and why you post. And what crowds you "run" with on the internet. My crowd is always changing. First, it was lots of mommies since I posted a lot about parenting. Now, it's more a mixture of people since I post more personal/random things.

    As for the people I follow, once people start selling out and telling me what I "need", I'm out. I like personal blogs the best.

  6. I am always amazed at the ridiculous price of some of the stuff that people are sharing in their everyday fashion posts. Who can afford to wear an article JUST ONE article that costs $100+ every single day paired with another article of the same price and then a $80 necklace, a $50 watch, $250 pair of shoes, $1,200 purse, etc?! I will say that I do invest in a few good pieces that I know I will get my money's worth out of. And I do have a few designer purses...though none were ever closer to being $1,200 bc OMG! But I also dont have kids...and most of my stuff comes from clearance racks for $50 or less lol. And I would never spend $80 on a necklace that isn't real when I can get the identical on groupdealz for $4.99 you know??

  7. Fuck. Yeah. I'm the same way. I have a few nice pieces but they were all gifts for either a birthday/Christmas. I can't justify spending that kind of money on the regular. A lot of is is butt ass ugly, too.

  8. well said my friend:). YES the majority of people do comment on popular blogs to get noticed by a large number of following that that blogger has. its smart but not genuine. i wouldn't want a huge following because once the blogger gets bigger, they stop replying and hire other people do it. and posts seemed not as original and half assed as you have stated. lol.

    watch out for colored eyebrows trend happening lol.

  9. when did blogging become so clique-ish?! You already know how I feel about this topic smh. But do you boo!!! LOL.
    Miss you like a crazy person misses another crazy person HA!


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