I had started drafting a post for a popular weekly link-up this morning but I just couldn't go through with it. I got two small paragraphs in and I had to stop because my heart wasn't in it. I started writing it because I thought it would be a fun way to let some creative energy out without getting too distracted and stressed out about it. But, truth is, I've been all sorts of distracted and stressed out this week so I couldn't bring myself half-heartedly write a post and ramble on about shit that doesn't really matter much just because everyone else is doing it. (Funny story about distraction: Yesterday, I grabbed my brow pencil and started filling in my eyebrows, only it wasn't my brow pencil - it was purple eyeliner. What. the. actual. fuck. I was able to get most of it off, but my right brow still had a tinge of purple to it all day.)
Anyway, as I was in the middle of the two paragraphs, I decided to hop on over to the link-up hostess's blog to see what new posts she had since the last time I visited, which was probably about one or two months ago. I skimmed the posts and was surprised at how many comments all of her posts had so I clicked on a one about fashion and skimmed that too. The post was actually nothing fancy. Some selections of products and suggestions on how to wear certain items. I do that. Then I skimmed the comments which mostly consisted of "great picks!" and "I've been dying over those!" or "that's my favorite brand!". I started wondering how all these people came to this space and what did I have to do to get these people to visit and comment on my blog as well? Then I looked at the post again, clicked on the links to her selections and realized, NOPE. I will never fit in with that crowd.
The prices of her selections were ridiculous. Ri.di.cu.lous. Granted, they were designer brands, but still. I'm never going to be the type of person who spends more than $100 on a tank top. The most I ever spent on a bag was $135 (fyi, it was a Michael Kors purse that I found at Ross and thought would be a perfect Christmas gift for my MIL) and even that was after careful deliberation and texts between Joey and I. Sure, I swoon over Valentinos and Kate Spade just like the next blogger but that doesn't mean I'm actually going to put my hard-earned money towards it. Especially when I know that a $20 tank top at Target is just as good as any $100+ designer tank top, so long as you know how to take care of it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in adulthood, most of us still don't have all of our shit together. We're still looking for attention, trying to fit in to a certain group or have a certain lifestyle because we think that's what we want. It's easy to sit behind the screen and say "do you, boo" or "who needs them" to everyone else as we secretly stalk the living shit out of the same blogs hoping for an way in to the "cool" group. The hard part is taking that same advice and shoving it down our own throats. Once we can do that, we'll have a clearer vision of who we really are and what we really want.
I don't know about you, but I'm glad to be the foul-mouthed cheap-ass that I am, unbrushed hair, purple eyebrow and all. And who knows, maybe one day I will join in on the link-up - when I actually have something to write about that isn't forced or thrown in there just to be like someone else. Because, really, if you're only imitating other blogs and other people, why would we even need to follow you?