Friday, January 8, 2016

Role Models


I was listening to Pandora the other day when J. Cole's "No Role Modelz" came on.  There's nothing like a smooth, mellow beat, deep, thought-provoking lyrics and a long drive to lose yourself in.  This song in particular got me thinking about the type of values and morals we have versus the ones we used to have when we were younger.  I mean, let's face it - the world today is nothing like the one we (well most of us) grew up in.  Neighborhoods were safer, people were more genuine, and the future seemed so bright.  These days, you can't walk past a newsstand without seeing stories about mass shootings, bombs, corruption, or war.  Turn on the TV and it's all about false reality.  Fake people with shallow ambitions talking, arguing, and going on about nothing.

We live in a messed up world where the Kardashians, other "reality" TV stars, and celebrity wannabes with no talent are role models.  It seems that everyone and their sisters are taking supplements, getting surgery, or doing some ridiculous challenge to make their butts, breasts, and lips bigger.  Honestly, that's too much work.  And for what?  Girls posting sexy photos on social media and the internet to get attention, guys using "bitch" and "hoe" like it's the synonym for girl.  It's getting to be too much already.  Girls and guys using each other for money, fame and selfish reasons.  And these same people turn around and complain that there are no more "good guys" or "good girls" out there for them.  We're all getting too self-absorbed and selfish, thinking that looking a certain way or having x amount of money will make our lives better and we'll be happy forever, but deep down knowing that it won't.

I'll be the first to admit that I too got caught up in the frenzy of reality TV stars, designer brands, and the party-girl lifestyle.  Lindsey Lohan, Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, I was jaded by it all.  I forgot about my childhood dreams and goals and turned into a shallow, selfish, not-so-nice person.  I no longer cared about anything or anyone else but myself and what I wanted.  It took me a while to realize that no matter how many followers or designer bags I had, I wasn't very happy.  I've always known that I was meant to do something more with my life.  To create, inspire, build, help, love, and be loved.

My role models growing up were Princess Diana, Jane Goodall, Mother Teresa (seriously), Audrey Hepburn, Aaliyah and Maya Angelou.  These women made me want to be better, not because of their popularity or how they looked, but because of the way they lived their lives.  Putting others before themselves, showing kindness and class even when others were putting them down, working hard towards their goals, and  inspiring others to do what they loved with passion.

These days, (with the exception of Beyonce, Sophia Amoruso and Lizzy Velasquez) it's hard for me to think of someone that I would consider to be a genuine role model.  Someone that I wouldn't mind my kids aspiring to be someday.  All I can do is keep my role models (adding Beyonce, Sophia Amoruso and Lizzy Velasquez to that list) and try to live my life being as honest, kind, generous, loyal, hard working, confident, classy, smart, and inspirational as I can.  Who knows, maybe one day my kids will aspire to be more like me.

Who is/are your role model(s)?  What qualities do you feel a role model should have?  Do you ever find yourself lost in thought after listening to a song?


  1. want to hear a weird thing? i dont like eminem but his song 'lose yourself' is one awesome song. one day it came on and somehow the lyrics just sank into my brain (when i usually just switch the station) but then i really *listened* to them and i was like, damn, this song makes good fucking sense. listen to the's basically saying to immerse yourself in what you want and go balls to the wall with opportunities or you'll miss out.

    as for role was my dad. everything i do, how i react, how i am, how i behave is based on his teachings. i miss him :(

  2. I am very proud of you and how you have grown into an aspiring and inspirational woman. You were always a sheltered child who always got what she wanted but you have become a person who knows that hard work and determination reap rewards.

    Your kiddos love you and will look up to you because you have given them the foundation to aspire to do great things.

  3. You're so right, girlfriend! There aren't many female role models for our girls to look up to. I asked my oldest who she looks up to, and she named a bunch of YouTube stars. *Er, what?* What are they doing for society? Are they helping others? Gah. I realized that I better BRING IT as her mama, cause I WILL infiltrate that mind and not even make her realize I am her biggest role model. Haha.

    Like you, I think a good role model is someone honest, generous and full of integrity. (Side note...I think integrity is the sexiest thing ever)

    I didn't really have a good role model growing up.

    Glad you linked up with us! -Shelly <3

  4. Oh my goodness, this post is so spot on. I agree - our values as a society are so freakin' messed up. We worry more about what celebrities wear and say and who they date than serious, REAL problems in the world. I truly want my kids to grow up with real values, to worry more about being kind and making a contribution to the world! Anyway, OK, sorry about my rant. :) Thank you for sharing such an insightful post with us for #WODW. xo


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