Friday, August 19, 2016
Shit My Kids Say: Vol. 1
Pulling out of the drive-thru at Wendy's.
Me: Niyah, where's the drinks?
Aniyah: Right here, hold on.
(Passes drinks to the front.)
Aniyah: Oh, and sorry I had to drink a little from them because they were spilling.
(I look at my cup and it's only 3/4 full)
Me: So, it was overflowing so much that you had to drink one fourth of it?
Aniyah: Umm...haha. Yes?
Fixing myself before getting out of the car.Chloe: Mom, let's go.
Me: Hold on Chloe, I just need to fix something.
(I reach into the glove compartment and pull out a pair of scissors)
Chloe: Mom, what are you doing?
(I start trimming a couple overgrown eyebrow hairs)
Chloe: (Mortified) MOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT!
Me: What? Chloe I'm just making it straight.
Chloe: Oh. Em. Gee. Can we just get down already?
Gripping my son's shoulder before crossing the street.
Trace: Mom, can you quit crinching me?
Trace: You're crinching me.
Me: What the heck does crinching mean?
Trace: See, pinching is like this (he makes his pointer and thumb do a pinching motion) and crinching is like this (he curls and opens his fingers into a claw shape, like grabbing a handful of jellybeans).
Me: That's not a real word.
Trace: Well, just stop crinching my shoulder already.