Driving home from Chuck E. Cheese's:
Trace: I like this ball, it smells so good.
Aniyah: Huh? What smells so good about it?
Joey and I look at each other and start to laugh.
Joey: Nai, that doesn't really make sense. Try again.
Aniyah: What doesn't make sense about it?
Joey: You shouldn't say 'what smells so good about it', you say 'WHY does it smell good to you'.
Aniyah: OHHHHH. Trace, why does it smell good to you?
Trace: It smells new.
Aniyah: What smells so new about it?
Me: Niyah, really? 'About it' again?
Aniyah: Yeah, I don't know why I always have to say 'about it'.
Me: Thank God school started again. Now you can study up on your language arts. You've spent too much time talking in text codes.
Joey: Text codes?
Me: Yeah, she always says 'Mom, BRB. RQ.'
Joey: What the heck does that mean?
Aniyah: BRB means 'be right back', RQ means 'real quick', WAYD means 'what are you doing' and FR means 'for real'.
Joey and I both roll our eyes.
Trace: Oh, I know what BFG means! 'Bad for girls'.
We all start laughing.
Aniyah: Okay Trace, so what does BFB mean? 'Bad for boys'?
Trace: No. 'Bad for bitches'.
Another car ride:
Trace: You guys have to call me Uncle Trace.
Aniyah: What? Why?
Chloe: Yeah, Trace. You're not older than us and you're not our uncle.
Trace: Yes I am older than you. I was born in 1998.
Chloe: Trace, if you were born in 1998 you'd be dead by now.
Aniyah: Chloe, if he was born in 1998 he'd only be 18, not an old man.
At a bridal shower, watching the 'toilet paper wedding dress' game:
Trace walks past and stares at the teams getting ready to start putting their toilet paper on their 'brides'.
Trace: Well. This looks dumb.
The day after the kids get a haircut:
Chloe: Mom, I just love my hair. Aniyah says it makes me look older. How old do I look?
Chloe: Okay, what about now?
She parts her hair in the middle and brings it to the front.
Chloe: Do I look like those people who like go to middle school?
Chloe: You know, the people who are older but they're my height?
Chloe: NO. Never mind. You just don't get it.